Photo Phinish I

Taking a well-deserved break, Santa Claus shares a light
 moment with one of his favorite elves, "Handsy."

No History This Week


   For the two of you who read this blog, please accept my sincere apologies,  as there will be no "History of the World According To Penwasser" this week.  I had intended to write the column Thursday evening, but I had a social engagement come up all of a sudden (yeah, I know.  People actually want to spend time with me.  Weird.  I must owe them money).

   Friday, I headed down South to land of cotton, good times there are not forgotten.  My son is getting married and would like me to accompany him, his mother, his future mother-in-law, and his fiancee (or is that fiance?  I can't keep these things straight) on a trip to view potential venues.

   Side Note:  The children of me and my siblings are starting the marriage process.  It's going to go like dominos (the game, not the pizza).  Soon, the funerals will end up like dominos (the game, not the pizza).
"No?   Awwwwwwwwwww...eff."
   But, fingers crossed that that won't happen for a very long time.  Because, I'm the oldest and I have this suspicious lump on my forehead.

   Anyway, I won't have time to give you a post which is of the highest quality (or whatever this is).

   Never fear.  Next week, we go to ancient Babylon.

   But, to tide you over, how about a picture of an angry bird and a toilet?

Because he has no hands, stepladder, or penis. 
And really needs to take a whiz. 
I'd be angry, too

Sign Language XXVIII

"And, if you want to ever see it again, leave $500,000 in unmarked, non-sequential bills in front of the nearest Leslie's by midnight.  Or we'll take a box-cutter to the liner."

Sign Language XXVII

After 30 minutes, I got bored and left. 
 This wasn't nearly as exciting as I thought.

Happy Independence Day

Or, for those who don't live in the United States...
Happy 4th of July!*

"Okay, everyone, listen up!  The order from Feinman's Deli on Market Street has come in.  Let's see, I have a tuna salad on whole wheat for Washington, grilled chicken, dark meat only-heard that's how you like it, Jefferson-on pumpernickel, liverwurst with sauerkraut on sourdough for-figures-Adams, and fish and chips for....for Pete's sake, Franklin, you do know why we're here, right?"

"Because every country has a 4th of July.  
Now, get back to work.  Especially you, England."

Happy Independence Day!

     Or "Fourth of July" to the rest of the world.     Yes, yes, sigh, I know.  Many other countries, other than the United State...