Secret Agent Man

Or is it?

Yesterday, I heard Johnny River's song, "Secret Agent Man."

It always sounded like "Secret Asian Man" to me.

To back up my belief?  I think I found him.

Here We Go Again

    “I just wish Trump would go away.”

    Just like that, I’ve entered the civil war sure to come between Republicans/Conservatives (not always the same thing) who are for The Donald and those, who while not against him necessarily, would rather anyone else run for president in 2024.

    When I sat down to write another Stuff and Nonsense,  I was hoping to dash off another bit of silliness.  It’s really the type of writing I like to do.  Talking about Xerxes the Great and his stepbrother, Herschel the So-So, makes me laugh.  And, hopefully, makes you laugh, as well.  Or send mental health professionals to my home.

"Dad hated Herschel."

    Then I wrote the above in the cesspool known as Twitter.  

    Don’t get me wrong, I’d rather comment on Truth Social.  There I don’t have to worry about couching my words so that I don’t get banned.

"You got that, right, pal.  We'll drop you like third-grade English."

    But, Truth Social is an echo chamber for the most part and there is very little interaction.  So, I wander about the asylum which is Twitter.  The loonies there are much more entertaining.

    Anyway, I commented that Trump was a polarizing figure.  Another Tweeter rebutted that statement by writing that Trump is only polarizing because the media and his enemies have made him so.

   I responded back that it didn’t matter why he was polarizing.  The fact remains is that he is polarizing.  And, if Conservatives like me think that, you have to know that there are many others just who believe the same.

   Therefore, I predict a return to the infighting which marked the primaries of 2016.  I won’t lie and try to convince you I was for Donald Trump.  In fact, he would have been my third or fourth choice to face the Wicked Witch of Chappaqua.

    I wanted Ted Cruz to be president.  However, one of the people I worked for as an Environmental Services Associate told me that Cruz was polarizing in a Grampa Munster kind of way.  Yeah, I could see that.  But, to me, Cruz seemed more stable than the mercurial businessman from New York.

You see it.  I see it. 
Makes me laugh. 
Hey, comedy is comedy, after all.

    Those of us who expressed reluctance about Trump-we even compared him to Mussolini-were savaged by  our friends who considered themselves conservative.  It got kind of nasty.  Luckily, we all eventually pulled together.

From 2016.
Yeah, I sometimes tended to wax hyperbolically.

    When all was said and done, I pulled the lever for Trump in November.  I would have preferred the Libertarian candidate, but he was nuts.

"Sheesh, make one mistake about Aleppo and they never let you live it down. 
By the way, where is Aleppo?"

   As far as Hillary?  Good grief, AYFKM?

Speaking of Hillary...word on the street is that she's launched her minions
to visit a pox on the neurotic and brainless.

   In my estimation, the Trump presidency, while certainly not without its share of hiccups along the way (thank you, Schumer, Pelosi, and their likeminded assassins in the media), was a success.  I wasn’t a big fan of tariffs, but I was happy for the most part.  Especially at the gas pump.

    Even though there were times I winced at the almost-slavish devotion of his worshippers (cult of personality has no place in politics) and his sometimes-clownish antics, I wondered if my reticence about him was ill-placed.

    Then, he lost to the incontinent idiot from Delaware.  From that moment until now, Trump has not shut up.  I also believe his narcissistic bombast cost Republicans the open seats in Georgia and, thus, the Senate.  And you see how well that’s worked out for the American people.

"Here's the deal.  You tell that lyin' dog-faced pony soldier
I know where all the continents are.  Even Wakanda.  
Repeat the line."
    If he decides to throw his hat in the ring again (as I’m sure he will), the news cycle will be full of witch hunts, steals, and personal attacks.

    So, here we go again.  In the run-up to the presidential election of 2024 which, unlike in the past, will be the most important election in U.S. history.  A case could be made that the 1860 election was more earth-shaking, but this one will be monumental.

    In the time between now and then, though, there will be people like me who will wish Trump will just “go away.”  And I cannot possibly be the only one.  Still, I’m sure the infighting will often be intense.

    To my Liberal (a word I do not think an insult) friends, I’ll say this.  Enjoy the show.  We’ll get to you  eventually.  Much like I wanted any other NFC team (except Dallas) to go to the Super Bowl, when it came down to it, I pulled for the Rams. 

    We’ll get the band back together after the Republican convention in 2024.

    For the time-being, I’m looking at the governor of Florida to lead us out of this mess.  To me, he has Trump’s skills without the histrionics.  Maybe someone else will jump to the fray.  We’ll see.

"And I'm not orange.  So there's that."

    In any event, I gotta think the Republican candidate will eviscerate anyone the Democrats will throw up.  Unless far too many people think Socialism and big government are the ways moving forward.  In that case, check please?  I want to get off.

     I guarantee this, though.  People like me will be lambasted if we express even a whiff that we’re not “all in” for Trump.  We’ll be accused of being anti-American and refuse to see what he did for our country.  Yes, he did a lot for our country, but I’d like a return to a society which isn’t seething with theatrics and paranoia.

     I can’t possibly be the only one who thinks that.

"Clearly, and can I be frank, Penwasser, or whatever his name is, has lost his mind because anyone who does not worship at my altar has been co-opted by fake news because how could anyone think I should just go away as if my hair, the most excellent hair in the world if I can be honest, would allow me to do that and, while we're on the topic, I think Lyin' Ted looks more like Eddie Munster all grown up, I'm just putting it out there."

Next time:  Back to silly.  My head hurts.

The 300 Dollar Stiff

     The Friday we closed on our new house, we decided to celebrate at a local restaurant.  This had nothing to do with the fact that the new place did not have a microwave oven.  Considering that our house was built in 1960, I suppose this should not have come as a surprise.  After all, the first microwaves weren’t widespread until the mid-1980s.  Yes, yes, I know, they were available long before then, but the earlier versions were expensive, and the general public was concerned about stories of leaked radiation. 

"Radiation, schmadiation. 
I got the first one from Sears and I'm right as rain."
    NOTE:  As of this past Tuesday, we now own a microwave oven.


Lead-lined apron or exploding testicles?  You can't be too careful.
NOTE:  Family not included.

    Since we thought we’d have a couple beers, we decided to go someplace close so we could walk home if we got carried away.

    NOTE:  We did not get carried away.  After all, I’m 64.  The next one who will carry me away is the undertaker.

    Since there were only four guys at Five Guys that evening, I was worried the breakfast tacos at Plaza Azteca would spit in my burrito (hey, don’t blame me.  Blame Dr. Jill), and I was afraid I’d need a bowl haircut at Moe’s, we chose a sports bar called “AJ Gators.”

In case you didn't get the joke.

   NOTE:  Unlike Five Guys, AJ’s served beer.  Screw those four guys.

    The food was great and the prices were very reasonable, but the highlight of our visit was our server.  She was very personable, attentive, and kept my beer glass filled  was every bit the professional.

    During the course of our meal, we found out she had also bought a new home.  However, unlike us, it was in Pensacola.   Not for nothing, imagine closing on a house via Zoom?

    Sometime this month, she and her husband will relocate to the free state of Florida.

The Escambia County Chamber of Commerce
is hot on her Welcome Wagon packet.
  And looking for a shirt. 
    We’re planning on returning sometime this weekend to say goodbye.  And order some drinks.

    NOTE:  Walking distance.

    The topic of serving came up during our conversation.  She said that while most people were fantastic (I sincerely hope we fell into that category), some were much less so.

    One of the most memorable consisted of a party of five who ran up a tab of close to $300.  Considering that the price of food there was very reasonable, I was pretty surprised.

    “Good grief,” I said, “what did they order?  Lobster popsicles?”

   Actually no, she said.  While they did have food, it was mostly appetizers.  The bulk of their order was  alcohol.

    Now don’t get me wrong, I like a cocktail (or several) as much as the next guy.  I was a Sailor, ya know.

I did my best to make the Sixth Fleet proud.

    Our server agreed.  She said she liked a drink (or several-see why we liked her?) herself.

    What really set her off is that she wasn’t left a single dime for the tip.  As much as I’m sure she catered to their every need and busted her tail to make their meal a pleasant one, the fact that a gratuity wasn’t left is appalling.

    Most restaurants, including this one, will automatically levy a gratuity for parties eight or larger.  Since there were only five here, the auto tip didn’t kick in.  18% is normal, 20% is easy math, even 15% is relatively acceptable, but nothing?  Awful.

    As a Multi-Venue Consumption Transportation Representative for Uber Eats, I appreciate it whenever a customer tips.  Not only does it help offset skyrocketing fuel costs, it also gives me a sense that what I’m doing is appreciated.  Even more so if they give me cash.

That's disgusting.
Look how dirty those shoes are.

    That’s why I always tip my server or anyone doing a personal service (minds out of the gutter, please).

    Of course, sometimes your dining experience is not a pleasant one.  Obviously, there are servers out there who are rude, inattentive, or downright incompetent.  These people really shouldn’t be rewarded with a gratuity and should look for work elsewhere.

   Like in the federal government.

    But, they are in the minority.  Similarly, any problems with your meal may be completely out of your server’s control.  In that case, cut them a little slack.

    Most of the time, though, these folks, may only work for (sometimes below) minimum wage (which is wrong and a topic for another time) and, so, count on tips. 

   So, remember that the next time you go out.  The old maxim rings true.  If you can afford to go out to eat, you can afford to tip.

    Good luck to her in Florida, though.  Where the gators won’t necessarily be cartoon gators.

"What?  No tip? 
Why don't you come a little closer and explain why?"

Next time:  I may go with another History of the World installment.  Or not.  You're not the boss of me.


Been a While


The Kenderosa

Hi all!

    I know it's been a long while, but I have a good explanation.  I'm a procrastinator  I bought a new house.  Well, new to ME, at least.  The thing was built during the Eisenhower Administration.  Meaning, it's still younger than I am.  

"And I'm dead. 
Which begs the question, why TF am I smiling?"

    What that all means is that I have been extremely busy.  Packing, then moving, then UNpacking (which still has not been completed) has taken up quite a bit of my time.  Not to mention that I have to get the old place ready to be placed on the market.  Cleaning, painting, exorcising demons, you know, pretty standard stuff.

    Just so you know, that's was the plan all along.  Basically, I have access to two places.  Even though, only one has all my stuff in it.

    Sometime this weekend, or early next week, I hope to settle down and write a proper post.  Well, as proper as I can make it.

    Mind you, I still won't be unpacked, but at least I have access to my computer and a chair.  So, I have that going for me.

"Which is nice."

Happy Independence Day!

     Or "Fourth of July" to the rest of the world.     Yes, yes, sigh, I know.  Many other countries, other than the United State...