Reflections

 

    As has been done in the past, I've gone ahead and assumed we’re supposed to write a reflections post.  Actually, “supposed” may be a bit extreme.  After all, it’s not like the Blogger police will come knocking at my door to ensure compliance.

"Good morning.  Blogger Police.   
Is there a Mr. Penwasser at home?"

     Oops.  My bad.

    Well, to keep me out of the hoosegow, I’d better get started.

"That is a shame. 
Me and the boys from the showers of Cell Block C would love to meet you. 
Eat fresh."

    Even though I have no clue what this has to do with the challenge....“Reflections” is a song by Diana Ross and the Supremes which was released in...huh? 

Wrong Reflections?
NOTE:  I won't comment on what they meant by "going down." 
I'm classy that way.

    Oops.  My bad.

    NOTE:  If you actually thought that I thought that the song was correct, then I have a few miles of a California high-speed rail line to sell you.  

"It ISN'T?  See?  This is why I have trust issues."

      

    Anyway, the 2026 A-Z Challenge was...uh...challenging (hey, after a month, my store of synonyms is pretty barren.  You're lucky to even get this).  Even so, it was fun to meet some new people.  Don't get me wrong, I cherish those who have been with me for years.  It's just that Penwasser Place has a big tent and everyone is welcome.

Not you.

      My theme this year was to select a different person from history whose name corresponds to the letter of the alphabet for that particular day.  If you haven't noticed it by this time, I cannot help you.

    I've learned some things along the way which helped me in this endeavor.  This has resulted in me being even more insufferable if I ever find myself in a conclave of nerds.

Like CPAC.

  

Or Furry Convention. 
I won't judge.

    One of the take-aways from the experience, though, is that it may be a good idea to include some kind of notice that will let you, gentle reader, know if something is true or some random-ass jive.

    For example, if you didn't know any better, you may have concluded that I was just being funny

"Funny?  Funny how?"

when I wrote that Truman didn't have a middle name, but just had the letter "S."  Frankly, I wouldn't have blamed you if you thought I was just writing nonsense (like Joan of Arc was supposed to go to the University of Paris).

    So, yeah.

    Also, Lissa remarked that more than a few of my subjects were obscure (you mean not everyone has heard of Bubar?).  She also remarked that I selected more than a few individuals who were not the most upstanding citizens (I'm talking to you, Mr. Quantrill).

    So, message received.  I'll do my best in the future to concentrate on people a little more well-known, like Yamamoto, and less on people such as Elagabalus, who was not only obscure, but a disaster as a human being.

And had a name which was a bitch to spell.

    I'm already thinking of the 2027 A-Z Challenge.  While I won't go with people from history, I may go with events from history.  Or just go with whatever strikes my fancy.

Which runs the risk of a bruised fancy.

    Finally, now that the challenge is over, I'm going to return to blogging every 5-7 days.  If you liked the tone of the past month, rest assured, the nonsense won't change.  If you didn't like the tone, first, why are you here?  Second?  I congratulate you on your mental health.

    With that, I'm going to relax in front of the TV and try to come up with a topic for the next edition of whatever it is you call this.

    Scheduling note:  I still have a couple parts left about Xerxes.

    Thank you for your attention to this matter.

"THAT'S MY LINE!!! 
Loser."

    Eff.
  

"Z" is For "Zeno"

 

“Z” is for “Zeno”

     When I was in the Navy, there was a Sailor in my unit who was a troublemaker.  Even though he was all of that, I couldn’t find a reason to get rid of him.  Let’s put it this way, if he just decided to not come to work one day, I wouldn’t have expended a huge amount of energy tracking him down.

    Back then (and perhaps now), the Navy had a zero-tolerance for drug use.  If you were caught using drugs, you were bounced out of the service.  Remember this, it will be important.

    When I was on leave one summer, my Chief gave me a call...  

    “Lieutenant, I have some bad news for you.  Our favorite person popped positive on his piss test.”    

    DEAD SILENCE    

    He came back on, “I guess that isn’t bad news to you, is it, sir?”

    I replied, “Thanks for letting me know, Chief.”

    I then hung up and danced into the kitchen, 

"HE'S GONE, HE'S GONE, HE'S GONE!!!!"

    Guess what his name was.  Thattttt's right.....

    This isn’t about him, though.

    Nor is it about Zeno of Elea, a pre-Socratic Greek philosopher famous for his paradoxes challenging the concept of plurality, motion, and the idea that cottage cheese is really cheese.

"Turn my back one minute and some jerk steals my clothes. 
Good thing I found these drapes."

    No, this is about the Eastern Roman Emperor, Zeno.

"At least I've got a shirt on."

    NOTE:  I apologize for saddling you with an obscure person for my last challenge post.  But?  “Z”?  My hands were tied.  I swear, I never heard of him until I researched Odoacer.

    Born in Isauria as Tarasis around AD 425 (CE to you politically correct ninnies), he adopted the Greek name, Zeno, as he entered public because it sounded less foreign.

"Yer shittin' me, right?"

Constantinople was called Byzantium.
Before it was called Istanbul. 

    He married the daughter of Emperor Leo I, Ariadne, in an effort to curry favor with leadership.  Sort of like a Jared Kushner kind of thing.

    Well, it apparently worked because together, they had a son, Leo II.  The little boy became emperor at seven years old when his grandfather died.  He ruled until 474 with his father as co-emperor (hey, someone had to feed him his Spaghetti-Os).  Sadly, when he died, Zeno became sole emperor.

Of the Eastern Roman Empire.
Before it was called the Byzantine Empire.
Snooty Romans.

    Before too long, Zeno became the victim of a palace revolt orchestrated by the Empress Dowager Verina and was tossed from office in 475.  However, after being helped by a couple generals disloyal to the now-ruling Basiliscus, he regained the throne in 476 where he remained until he died.

One mean-looking broad, amirite?

    Zeno’s reign was plagued by domestic revolts (the most significant, of course, being from Verina the Mean) and religious dissension (Eastern Catholics weren’t on speaking terms with Roman Catholics).

"They were always jealous of our hats."

    However, what he is best known for (at least for me.  After all, I’m the only one who counts because I’ve been writing these things) was his relationship with the Western Roman Empire.  The West, which was based in Ravenna, not Rome, was circling the crapper in 476.

    When the last Western emperor was deposed by Odoacer, Zeno was acknowledged as the de facto head of the whole shebang by Odo.  Zeno was then given the symbols of Roman power, some leftover ziti, 

And a timeshare at a Taormina beach.

    NOTE:  You can read more about this relationship in my “O” post if you feel like it.
    NOTE 2:  If you feel like it, you lead a sad life.

    Zeno died in Constantinople on April 9, 491 of dysentery, epilepsy, or a bad batch of Spaghetti-Os.

    He was succeed by the emp...oh, what do I care?  This is my last post for the 2026 A-Z Challenge.    

    Now pay up and go home.  

"Y" is For "Yamamoto"

 

“Y” is for “Yamamoto"

Domo Arigato, Mr. Yamamoto

    Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto was a Japanese admiral (that would explain the title) who rose to become commander of the Imperial Japanese Navy in the 1940s.

"How you like all my medals? 
Lemme tell you, the things you can get at Tokyo Walmart!"

    NOTE:  Incidentally, World War II was the last war in which the United States actually declared war.  So, there’s that.

    The admiral was born on April 4, 1884.  That he was not an admiral at birth and that he was born in Japan is probably obvious.

Unless you went to a place like this.

"Come on, man!  That joke is getting so old!  Tampon?"

    Even though he is best known for his actions during World War II (we’ll get to that), Yamamoto distinguished himself for his service in the Russo-Japanese War of 1905 and in the years leading up to the horrific global conflict.

    In fact, it was during the Battle of the Tsushima Strait where Yamamoto lost two fingers.

"SONOFAB...those are the fingers I use to pick with!"

 

"Oh, boo HOO, you big baby!  I lost me 'hole bloody arm, I did!"*

    After a war which Japan won (shocking the batcrap out of the Russians), Yamamoto went on to study at Harvard University and then was assigned to the Japanese Embassy in Washington as Naval Attache.
    I think that was covered in the movie, Midway.

Which also starred Mr. Miyagi

    It was through his experiences in America that Yammy learned a successful war depended on access to oil and a robust industrial capacity.  Neither of which they possessed.

They did have Godzilla, though.

    Therefore, he judged that Japan would not be able to prevail in a war against the United States.

    Yeah, imagine that.  We were pretty badass back in the day.

    Nevertheless, as his country began preparations for a war, the Yamster was all in on how best to overcome the hated Yankees.  

Especially after they won the 1941 World Series.

    Since Hollywood wasn’t yet anti-American, he knew he had to take action so he planned for a massive surprise attack on the American fleet in Hawaii.

    Of course, unless you went to the lea...okay, that’s enough with that, you would know that the attack on Pearl Harbor was deemed a great success (unlike that dreadful Ben Affleck movie) by many in his military.

"Hey!  What're you talking about? 
We were much better than Tora! Tora! Tora!"

"Yeah...no."

     Yamamoto, on the other hand, had his misgivings.  Sure, thousands of Americans were killed and several warships damaged or destroyed, but the American aircraft carriers were at sea.

    And the admiral knew that the next war would involve carriers and naval aviation.

What's more, the American Navy had USS Nimitz

     In 1943, Yamamoto scheduled a tour of Japanese military installations (Bob Hope, the Andrews Sisters, and Dorothy Lamour all declined) throughout the South Pacific.  Unfortunately, for him, American code-breakers had intercepted his plans.  

"Hey, any of you guys seeing this?"

    On April 18, his plane was shot down near New Guinea.

Old Guinea

"Who?  Penwasser? 
Yeah, we've been expecting that little smartass for quite some time."

    Interestingly, and I didn’t know this, there is no evidence that he ever said or wrote down the line for which he is most known.  At the end of the movie, Tora! Tora! Tora! (vastly superior to Pearl Harbor), he is shown walking the deck of his flagship as this quote flashes on the screen:

“I fear all we have done is awaken a sleeping giant and filled him with a terrible resolve.”

"Even so, let's see Affleck pull that off!"

    Pretty cool line, but you just can't trust Hollywood, amirite?  

    I'm beginning to think that The Final Countdown wasn't a documentary, after all.

   *To get the joke, you'll need to visit my post on "Nelson."

   

 

'X' is for 'Xerxes the Great"

"X" is For "Xerxes the Great"

"Isn't it bad enough he's called 'the Great?' He gets his own post, too?" 
Author's Note:  The above is Darius III who was not great. 
If you've been following this nonsense, we talk of him in my 'D' post. 
You're welcome.

FULL DISCLOSURE:  After much (well, some) deliberation, I found it difficult to come up with a proper candidate for my "X" post.  I have therefore, decided to go with ole reliable, Xerxes the Great.  Yes, for the sharp-eyed out there, this is a repost from last year.  And then some.  But, the way I figure it, quite a few of you are new to this disaster and so this will be new to you.  Since I am benevolent, I'll break it up into parts (this thing is long enough).  In any event, I sincerely hope you enjoy this discussion on that wild and crazy guy from Persia.  

Not him

 

Too soon?

     300 on TNT is the story of 300 (that’s where they get the title...duh) Spartans led by King Gerard Butler against the evil Persians of...uh...Persia.

Told ya.

Interestingly enough, 300 also featured Lena Headey. 
You may recognize her as Cers...naw, that would be too easy

    For almost two hours, these brave warriors use sword, spear, and pectoral muscles against the very best the enemy could fling at them.  It’s only after the treachery of some guy who would make Congresswoman Rosa de Lauro from Connecticut look attractive that the Greeks are defeated.

You know, on second thought...

"HEY!!"

    Rather than the buff-boy Spartans, I grew curious about Leonidas’ opponent, Xerxes.

"Hey, how do you separate the men from the boys in Greece?"
"I dunno.  How?"
"A crowbar."

    Xerxes the Great was born in 519 BC (or "BCE" to you politically-correct ninnies) to Atossa and Darius the Great.  Both of his parents were descended from Achaemenes, but of different Achaemenid lines.  The source documents are pretty clear on that as they wanted to leave no doubt there was no incest hanky-panky going on.  After all, they weren’t Egyptians.  

After all, what could go wrong with that?

    Anyway, Darius knew that marrying a daughter of the great Cyrus the Great

"Again with 'the Great!'  Motherfu...!"

would certainly help his plan for kingship.  Plus, it would smooth his application to the Nineveh Country Club.

    Anyway, Darius was pissed at off at everyone, from Babylon to that guy who sold him those Kinoki foot pads.  But, he was most hacked off at the Greeks.  Who, besides having grass and a recipe for some kick-ass souvlaki, had some of the sweetest nude beaches in the Mediterranean.  So, he made intense preparations for an invasion of...Egypt.

    Yeah, no kidding.

    Before he left the country, he was required to name a successor.  I guess this was just in case he got whacked.  Or was having too much fun on a Greek beach.

    Before doing so, he contracted with Gambino and Sons building contractors to build him a tomb.  After permits were finally approved after the Zoning Officer found the head of a camel in his bed, construction began at Naqsh-e Rostam (yeah, I’m not going to look it up, either).  Freed from the stress of planning his final resting spot and picking out window treatments, Darius then named his son, Xerxes, as his successor.

This Xerxes.

Not LGBTQ+1 Xerxes.

 

    If you're still awake...

To be continued in May.  Sometime... 

in ...

 The Great Xerxes the Great Sequel!