There’s an ungodly number of topics going on in the world upon which I can opine. Like an old man bitching about kids trampling his lawn, I can open my piehole here. But, why bother? I really don’t think anyone is going to look at Penwasser Place and think to themselves, “Hey, you know? That Penwasser clown is really on to something.”
So, I won’t.
"He won't? Good. Tell Tom never mind."
Therefore, I bring you the below.
NOTE: To be fair, this is a repost…of a repost. But, I have updated it a little. So, if you read the original post (PFFFT, go figure), this may seem new to you. If not, hey, it’s not like I get paid for this stuff.
Prologue (see? This is new): I was inspired to repost this after the “As
Time Goes By” post from a couple weeks ago (that was completely new-see? I can write new crap things).
Have you ever stopped to consider the multitude of car ribbon magnets which adorn the back of mini-vans? You know, the ones just below the "My Kid Beats Up Your Kid the Honors Student" ones?
The colors, and the causes they represent, are as varied as a bag of M&Ms (and much less fattening).
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"Or without artificial colors and flavors." |
For example, there's a Crayola Box used to raise consciousness for a variety of causes....
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The military |
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HIV awareness |
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Breast Cancer |
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Prostate Cancer |
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Autism Awareness |
and countless others. All the colors of the rainbow are taken, even Brown for "Coprophilia Awareness."
be disgusted laugh
your ass off.
Mind you, none of this is meant to denigrate any of the worthy causes those ribbons champion (well, except maybe that brown one. Which doesn't exist. I hope.).
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"What the f...I bet it was those meddling kids!" |
Mostly.
Little suspecting they'd star in a Ben Affleck movie in 2012, the "college students" stormed the American Embassy in Tehran (or “Teheran.” I’ve seen both spellings. I can’t keep up. For example, it’s no longer “Kiev.”) and took everyone hostage.
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Told ya. You're welcome. |
President Jimmy Carter was outraged. Trying everything from talking tough to "Pretty, please?" he desperately tried to win release of the hostages. Including an aborted desert rescue which looked as if it was planned more by the Three Stooges than the Pentagon.
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Oh. Wait. Wrong helicopter disaster. My bad. |
All during the "Hostage Crisis," we felt powerless. We desperately yearned for a way to pitch in and to show that we really meant business. Well, without actually putting ourselves in danger by enlisting in the military, don'tcha know.
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Personal Note: My ship was in drydock, so we couldn't do anything about it. Hands tied, don'tcha know. |
So, taking inspiration from a Tony Orlando and Dawn song about tying yellow ribbons around trees until a convict came home,
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The group has since split up. |
we all went into yellow ribbon fever.
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Not this, though |
These things popped up everywhere and even hung around long after the hostages were eventually freed when Mr. Peanut was booted to the curb and returned to Georgia to build houses for the poor.
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"I feel attacked." |
Seeing the success of the yellow ribbons to trumpet a cause, we then took it upon ourselves, aided by Madison Avenue, to exploit all the other colors. To the extent now that, more than 40 years later, multi-colored ribbons, like MAGA hats, are all over the place.
Although, Brown is the alternate butt cancer color, while dark blue is the official colorectal ribbon color."
To be honest, having brown as the alternate is a good idea. Brown for colorectal is a bit of dark humor that even I wouldn’t employ.
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Oh, who am I kidding? Of course I would. |
Well, now, don’t I feel shitty?
I do, in fact, remember the yellow ribbons. Yes, I'm that old. I remember this hostage crisis. When people ask (and they do): What is the earliest major news event you remember? This is the one for me. (I was way too young for Watergate.)
ReplyDeleteMy earliest memory was Kennedy’s funeral. But, since I was only 5, I didn’t grasp its magnitude. I clearly remember the agonies of the Vietnam War, though.
DeleteI don't remember the yellow ribbons but I do remember the song.
ReplyDeleteBrown isn't for abused UPS drivers?
LOL
DeleteIt's been so long since the yellow ribbon days, my first thought was, "Police tape..."
ReplyDeleteI know, right? Like with my post about gas lines, there's a dwindling number of us who remember those days.
DeleteFun fact: if you tie a yellow ribbon around a horse's tail it tells people you are riding a stallion.
ReplyDeleteFor real, Clark?
Delete