'L' is for 'Louis the Pious'

 


    Louis the Pious (April 16, 778-June 20, 840) was King of the Franks.

Not to be confused with "Chuck, King of the Hamburgers."


    He was alternatively known as “Louis the Fair” and “Louis the Debonaire” 

"Louis the Suave" having never caught on

and was initially co-emperor with his father, Charlemagne

Yes, that Charlemagne.
"So, 'Louis the Flatulent.'  Not a good idea?"

from 813 until 840.  Upon his father’s death, he was designated the sole emperor of the Carolingian dynasty  (the Pope having given his blessing to the Franks in a blatant “FU” to the Byzantines) until his death (Louis, not the Pope.).  The only exception to this was when he was deposed from November 833-March 834 after one of the two civil wars which dogged his reign.

    The empire over which he presided included parts of what would become Spain, the Low Countries, France, Germany, northern Italy, and others I’m not sure of.  To help him rule, Louis divided responsibility for the empire among his three adult sons, Lothair, Pepin, and Louis.  However, when the old man tried to bring his son by another woman, Charles (the son, not the woman...gee, I really should write more gooder), it stirred up sibling jealousy, the likes of which wouldn't be seen again until Marcia got smacked in the kisser on 'The Brady Brunch.'

"Saying we're from the 'Low' countries.  Not gonna lie, a little hurtful."

    Despite all the pain-in-the-ass grief, Louis’ reign ended on a high note when he died in 840 (“dying” doesn't sound terribly high to me-guess I'm not the only crappy writer).  He is even compared favorably to the big guy.

Wrong big guy.
I meant Charlemagne.

    However, wouldn’t you know it, the kids got to squabbling over Dad’s legacy and the Carolingian Empire erupted into a civil war which would last until 843.

    The Treaty of Verdun in 843 managed to bring the bickering to an end as it divided the empire into three parts:  West Francia (which would become France), East Francia (ultimately becoming Germany) and Middle Francia (which became the Low Countries and Northern Italy).

If you notice, Charles did get a piece of the pie. 
Although, he was called 'the bald.' 
And got France. 
Kind of mixed blessings, if you ask me.


"Okay, you get France."
"But, I want Germany.  Word on the street is they'll become pretty bad ass."" 
"Well, somebody has to take France."

"WE'RE YOUR HUCKLEBERRIES!  Infidel."

    Of course, this just continued the disintegration of the Carolingian Empire, one which would be replaced by France and the Holy Roman Empire.

    Which was neither “Roman,” nor “Holy,” nor really an “Empire.”

    So they say.  Hey, don’t blame me.  I didn’t make these things up.  I’m just the writer.   

"There he is with that 'Low' shit again."


6 comments:

  1. I'm trying to imagine what it would be like for my brother and I to both have control over armies...

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    Replies
    1. Probably not like “Risk.”

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  2. It took me way too long to get the hamburger joke. This wasn't the Saint Louis, was it? (I was surprised to learn a king of France became a saint.)

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    Replies
    1. Actually, I like jokes that aren’t automatically “in your face.”
      I think it was Louis XIV. I think.

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  3. This is Birgit…Charlemagne is a great king or, as my mom insisted his real name is Charles Der Grosse…yeah, just doesn’t have the same ring. Did you know that Cindy Crawford has a direct link to Charlie. He’s her many, many, many times great, great grandfather. I do know, from reading many books, not censored, it was actually called the Holy Roman Empire of the German people. ( my mom always flinched at the word “People” since that word means “Penis” in German. Gives new meaning to the “We the people, by the people, for the people”…sounds like something Trump would have said then…heeeheeee). Amazing how the countries got divided because the brothers were having hissy fits.

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    Replies
    1. I thought the same thing. Similarly, the Church of England came about because Henry VIII had a boner for Anne Boleyn…lol.
      OMG…people 😂

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