Fun With Comedy Gold Emeritus

 

If found, please return to the United States.
Just be warned:  they may not want him.

Who is the new Comedy Gold, you may ask?

"Ta DA!!!!
Blowjob?"

"So, I'm still the 'Stable Genius'?"

Fun With Cackles

 

"Today is today.  Until tomorrow.  Then, tomorrow is today.  And today is yesterday.  But, then, today's yesterday will be the day before yesterday when the new tomorrow is today.  It stands to reason that last week will still be last week.  Unless the new today is on a Monday.  Which means then that last week will be the week before last.  Of course, it will still be summer.  Unless it's cold.  Then, it's winter.  Or you're in in Australia." 

"I don't know who she is or understand a single thing she's saying. 
Then again, I'm demented.  No joke."

Happy Independence Day!

     Or "Fourth of July" to the rest of the world.

    Yes, yes, sigh, I know.  Many other countries, other than the United States, have independence days.  Just give us this one.  We might not be around much longer.

"Okay, let's see if I got everyone's lunch order right...General Washington will have a BLT with American cheese and slice of cherry pie...well, of course, I have a turkey sub with chips for Hamilton...excuse me, what the hell is a sub?, Jefferson will have a broccoli rob...whatever that is, Mr. Frenchy McFrenchface, Madison, the suck-up, a Philly Cheesesteak, Adams will have a big salad...good call, John, the buttons on your breeches are getting ready to pop right off and kill us all, and Franklin will have fish and chips.  FISH AND CHIPS!!??  Seriously, Ben, do you even know WTF we're doing here???"