What's In a Name?

NOTE:  Thanks to those who commented on my post last week about "Socialism."  The first of what will be a regular series of serious bits of "stuff," it's clear that not all of us agree on everything.  I look at things from a conservative point of view, while a good number of you are of a liberal bent. Just because we disagree does not mean we can't be friends, though.  And friends we shall be.  But, this week?  I'll enjoy injecting a bit of silliness to the mix.  While this is, for the most part, a repeat of a post I wrote a couple years ago, it will be new to others.  And for those of you who may remember it, I've updated it a little.  And added a couple more pictures.  Because who doesn't love pictures?

BC/AD, BCE/CE, AC/DC

    Since we've left the dinosaurs, Ice Age, cavemen, and "Make Pangea Great Again" ballcaps of prehistory behind, we'll soon (and, by "soon," I mean "whenever"), be getting into those bits of history which were actually written down.  

    Whether hieroglyphics, cuneiform, or Sanskrit (is that a

Huh.  Whaddya know?  It is a language.  

And it's a mother.

language?  I think it's a language.  Sounds like a language.  Probably is.  Anyway, as always, I don't feel like looking it up.), people will begin writing down political philosophies, business transactions, methods of agriculture, weather observations, and dirty limericks.

"We chopped off the heads of 1,000 Hittites.  You get that down?"

   

    They had no set reference of time, though.  Okay, they probably did, but nothing like our standard method of dating.  After all, we're so much advanced than the primitives of the past, with our space travel, electric cars, masks, and poop on sidewalks.

It's the San Francisco treat.

    NOTE:  Judaism uses a different method of recording the passage of time.  While they undeniably date things employing the method the rest of us use, they also follow a practice based on the Torah, Abraham, or something like that to confuse the living daylights out of us.  For instance, isn't it something like the year 5,800 to them?  It has something to do with the moon, I think.  Or Woody Allen.  I don't know.  My head hurts. 

    Since...uh...a long time ago, we've dated civilization using a

"Catheter Sample Packs are a basic human right!  

BC, AD, whenever!"

"BC/AD" convention.  It's worked well as far as I've been alive.  And, since I've been alive longer than most of you, it should work well for you, too.  

 

   On the other hand, if you've been alive longer than I, good luck with those Depends, catheter sample packs, and Matlock marathons.

"The frik you mean I gotta wait four years!?"

   "B.C." stands for "Before Christ."  Meaning "Before Christ Was Born" not "Before Christ First Started Shaving."  I know that Jesus was born sometime around 4 B.C. (well, that's what the nuns told us), meaning Jesus was born four years before Jesus was born.  

    "A.D." stands for "Anno Domini," which is Latin-not Greek-for "Year of Our Lord."  It does not mean "After Death," you knucklehead.  If that's what it stood for, then, since Jesus was something like 33 years old when he was crucified, there's 33 years (or 37, considering that 4 B.C. thing) unaccounted for.

    In the last years of the 20th Century, though (proving that people have been wacky woke for decades), a new way of dating things has arisen in academia and general society: that of "B.C.E." or "Before the Common Era" and "C.E." or "Common Era."

    This was done to downplay the influence of Christianity and the Western World.  Don't try to tell me this isn't so.

"Okay, yeah, you figgered it out.  Infidel."

    Actually, I guess I'm okay with that in a "whatever" kind of way.  I mean, if I wasn't a

"But turkey bacon on flights to Dubai  is totally cool. "

Christian, I'd probably have a problem with talking about something which happened in the "year of our Lord."  After all, Jesus isn't the Jews' Lord, an atheist has no Lord (unless you count the "God of Climate Change."), pagans worship bundles of sticks, Jehovah's Witnesses worshi..., I don't know what they do, and Satanists idolize...uh...Satan.  Muslims would get ticked, I suppose, but they're too busy bitching about ham on airplanes.

   

NOTE:  I'm making outlandish generalizations for comedy purposes only.  Get over yourselves.

    The problem I have with this, though, is what exactly is "Common"?  Sure, Christianity and Judaism are common (Buddhism was also around, I think, but I'm trying to make a point here).  You can't exactly say Islam was common, because that religion didn't start raging around the Middle East and Mediterranean until 632 A.D.

   This means that, if you were going for a "common" vibe (using the "Big Three."  Sigh...okay Buddhism would make it the "Big Four."  Happy now?), the year should actually be 1389 C.E., instead of 2021 A.D.  

    By the way, I know that "A.D." should go before the year, College Boy.  Shut up.

"Fab Four" was already taken.

    No, what this is is a politically correct way of changing the name of something without actually changing anything.  The years are still the same.  In other words, Jesus was still born in the same year, except now it's 4 B.C.E.

"I still want a birthday party. 
Except no Judas."

"Goin' to Purgatory for that one, boyo."

    If the "C" stood for "Christian," it would at least be an accurate statement of fact.  As in "Before Christian Era" and "Christian Era."  

    Once again, though, I understand the resistance to 

Wrong Christian Dating

"Christian Dating."

    That said, if you want to steer away from a Christian lens, why not date things from the start of Islam?  Or maybe the founding of Rome?  The fall of the Western Roman Empire?  Norman Conquest?  Invention of the sex doll?  

"That last one sounds good."

    I realize that won't happen because can you imagine the disruption that would cause to our sense of our place in the world, to say nothing of what it would do to Hallmark?

    Sooooooo, I'll just go right on using "BC" and "AD,"  thank you very much.  There'll be no silly "B.C.E." and "C.E." nonsense here.  If you're the type of person who is uncomfortable with those terms, rest assured that nothing is different.

    The existence of syphilis was first recorded in 1495 A.D.  Which is the same as 1495 C.E.

"Well, that's what condoms are for."
Yes, I realize this is the second Bill Clinton picture.
Shut up.

    

  There, that's something you know now. 

      

Since I mentioned them in the title, I guess I should include a picture.  

But, I thought we left cavemen behind.

Next time:  Some stuff.