Science!

 

There has recently been some confusion regarding definitions of this, that, or which bathrooms can be used by some people.  For example, there are some disciplines of science which remain a mystery to a great many people.  Especially those who have gone to public school.

Therefore, to help dispel some of this bewilderment and perhaps bring some clarity to daily discourse, I offer the following.  I do it as a public service.  And because I can't think of anything else to write.

So you have that going for you.

"Which is nice."

So, without further adieu...

Archaeology

Study of human activity and all things old.

"Huh.  So that's why those guys were asking me all those questions."



Paleontology

Study of life that existed prior to the Holocene Epoch 
NOTE:  If you had been paying attention to my History of World posts, you'd know that is now.

Zoology

Study of Animals.  Or zoos.

You know, I think this blog is taking a disturbing turn.

Biology

Study of life.

"Excuse me, are you qualified to make that definition? 
Are you a biologist?"

Geology

Study of small cars

Astronomy

Study of celestial objects such as stars, quasars, comets, planets, dwarf planets, and animated dogs (i.e., Pluto.  Get it?)

"You know you're in trouble when you have to explain a joke."
"Which wasn't very funny to begin with."
"Not funny?  Have you read this thing the past few years?"

Asstronomy

Study of pornos

Etymology

Study of...oh, just read the damn thing yourself

Entomology

Study of insects  
Hmm, now that I look at it, this seems a little creepy. 

Entenmannology

Study of coffee cakes

Sadly, that's all I'm going to be able to do for now.  I've been given a "cease and desist" order from the federal government.*  Apparently, only a scientist can provide definitions of science.  Which is probably just as well.  I suspect some of these are jive. 

*

"'Things That Never Happened' for $500."