'O' is for 'Owen Tudor'

 

    You know, one of the best things about the theme I’ve chosen for the A-Z Challenge?  I've learned a thing or two along the way.  Oh sure, some things I already knew (e.g., timing of Easter), but there are obscure pieces of history which I do not.

    So it is with my selection for the letter ‘O.’

    Owen Tudor (1400-1461), 

Tudor Owen
No relation

aka Owain ap Maredudd ap Tudor),

"Holy crap, let's just go with 'Owen.'"

was a Welsh courtier who was a member of the household staff of Catherine of Valois, Queen of England, wife of King Henry V, mother of Henry VI, and renowned juggler.

"Wasn't the only staff the queen was jiggy for."

    Well, when Henry V died (I didn’t feel like looking up why-hey, just because it’s fun to learn some things doesn’t mean I want to do a lot of research), Catherine didn’t want to while away the rest of her life doing nothing but juggle and bemoan the fact that cable TV wouldn’t be invented for centuries.

I mean, she looked pretty hot.

    Since she needed permission from Parliament or the king (Henry VI) to remarry, she just ran away with Owen to tie the knot.

    Unfortunately, they couldn’t hide their secret forever (I mean, they had five kids, after all, and that whole Immaculate Conception thing was so first century).  Thus found out, she was sent to a nunnery where she died prematurely of bad vibes on January 3, 1437, shortly after childbirth.  She was buried in the “Old Lady Section” of Westminster Abbey.

    Apparently, there is such a place.  Next to the "Cranky Old Men Who Yell at Squirrels" section.

    Owen, on the other hand, didn’t seem to suffer any ill effects from banging the former queen (if you think it was a man’s world, you ain’t seen nothing yet).

For instance, Henry VIII would eventually have no problem
wielding the "Royal Power of Boners" to great effect. 

    He supported Henry VI during the War of the Roses, a dynastic dispute between the Houses of Lancaster and York.  

Apparently, George R. R. Martin would be inspired by this conflict when writing Game of Thrones.  There were no dragons in England, though. 
As far as we know.

    During this civil war, he was captured and beheaded by Yorkist forces in 1461 (you may have gathered that by the above).

"Beheading.  Big fan.  Infidel."

    Even though the Yorks took his head, the Lancaster House won the war 

The losers did receive a consolation prize, though.

and the son of Owen and Catherine, ascended the throne as Henry VII.  Thus establishing the Tudor Dynasty, which would rule England until 1603.

    The last Tudor monarch?  Elizabeth, the Virgin Queen.

Wrong Elizabeth

"She was no virgin, I must say."

This one.
Incidentally, no wonder this Kabuki Nightmare was a virgin.

    From whom Virginia derives its name.

    See?  You can learn a thing or two here.