Last Plug. I Promise.

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

“Let us give thanks to the Almighty who has seen fit to guide us through the trials, tribulations, and funny hats on this glorious New England day!  Deer, pheasant, turkey, the gift of maize, that weird-ass jello mold, and all manner of wo…seriously, Runs With Scissors? Eel pie? Well, no playing in the First Annual Shirts vs Redskins touch football game for you!”

 

Tony the Pony

 

    Some of you may have noticed, most of you probably haven’t (given the audience numbers for this blog), I haven’t been submitting to Stuff and Nonsense for quite some time.  Oh sure, I posted last week about my experience at the Virginia Beach polls, but it had been a while since I had given you anything new before that.

    In fact, as  the two of you who read it-thank you, Alex and Liz!-know, my last post was October 10^th and was about Johnny Cash’s “Ring of Fire.”  Since then, bumpkus.  However, since no one complained, I wasn’t too worried about it.

    Anyway, I have a good reason.  I was finishing up my latest book, Tony the Pony.  The fourth of my so-called “Navy” books (so-called by me, by the way), it documents my time with the men, women, and bowling shoes of Patrol Squadron Eleven, a Navy (have I mentioned “Navy”?) P-3 squadron based in Brunswick, Maine.

Sadly, the base at Brunswick is closed, the P-3s are decommissioned,
and I'm whining about low readership.

    I used the past month to wrap things up on an endeavor which took me over two years to complete.  Now, mind you, I’m no George R.R. Martin when it comes to taking my sweet ass time to finish my book.  Whereas George labors mightily (one hopes) to churn out this novel or that, I pretty much took my…uh…sweet ass time to finish my book.

"Of course, I've been working on the next Game of Thrones book for over ten years. Sweet ass time?  Sure. 
But, my books don't suck."

    Anyway, I’m proud to report that it is finally finished.  I can now take the rest of the year to recharge my literary batteries before I launch into writing my ninth book. 

    For those of you who may be wondering why, if I’ve written eight books, I’m not listed on the New York Times bestseller list,  I suck my books are a labor of love for which I don’t seek laudatory praise of any kind.  Or a truckload of royalty checks.  Although, would it kill you?

     But, if nothing else, they don’t cost all that much and would make great Christmas gifts for people of which you’re not too fond.  In fact, Tony the Pony is only $9.99 and the Kindle version is even cheaper.

    So, what have you got to lose?  Maybe Dad or Mom are Navy veterans who might get a kick out of reading the tales of what it was like back in the day.  At the very least, they’ll feel superior to a wretched little troll from Stratford, Connecticut, who finally got his wish to fly.

I mean, how could they not?

    If you'd like to do so, just click on Tony the Pony and you'll go right to the Amazon site.  Easy peasy.  With the possible exception of paying for it.

    You'll feel good about yourself.

Buy my book. 
Otherwise, I may have to consider another line of work.

Numbskulls, Fools, and the Electoral Process

    

    As I’m sure quite a few of you know, I worked the polls this past Election Day (that it was on Election Day is probably obvious).

If it was the day after, I probably would have been pretty lonely.

    Anyway, I’m happy to report that it was remarkably free of any monkeyshines, chicanery, or the hijinks that are often associated with voting.  While not crazy busy, we were steady throughout the day.  In fact, the busiest we got was when the polls opened at 6:00 AM.  Surprisingly, we didn’t see a huge rush in the two hours before we closed up shop at 7.  Rather, it was a steady flow.  At no time we were bored or struggling to stay awake.

    There were a number of first-time voters, which made my heart happy.  After all, someone has to replace us when we shuffle off this mortal coil to our eternal  reward.  Or wherever I end up.

"Yep, got you right here. 
King-size by the pool with a micro-fridge and cable TV, eternity. 
No, just kidding.  Except for that 'eternity' part."

    Even though there was a mixture of liberal and conservative among the ten of us, I had no idea of anyone’s party affiliation.  That was absolutely fine with me.  I am convinced that the vast majority of Americans only want the best for themselves or their families.  While I may disagree with their beliefs, that obviously does not make them bad people.

    That there are knuckleheads out there (on both sides) is undeniable.  But, I didn’t see any on Election Day.

    The worst it got was when a gentleman wearing a “WV” cap (the cap is not germane to this story; it just adds to the literary flair of my story) demanded  to know if this election was legal and what kind of machine were we using to tabulate votes.

And, by 'germane,' I don't mean Germane Jackson. 
Sorry for any confusion.

    Even though he was on “my side,” I inwardly sighed and said that of course it was legal (obviously was) and I had no idea who made the machine (I didn’t).

    We were expressly forbidden to talk politics.  As it should be.

    Come to think of it, he may have been on “my side,” but I suspect he’s a starter for the “Loony Side.”

    Other than that, no worries.  However, I do have an observation (this is where you say, ‘He’s FINALLY getting to the point!”).

    The ballots in my town had only two choices:  Congress and City Council.  The candidates for Congress were identified by party.  The ones for City Council were not (although, one was a Democrat and one a Republican).

    Part of my job during the day was helping curbside voters.  One lady was bamboozled by the choices when I ran (really, I ran!) the ballot out to her car.

    She asked which party the ones running for City Council were from.  I replied that it was illegal for me to tell her (as it should be).  Neither could I make any sort of gesture or nod my head in the direction of the candidates’ signage.  WHICH WEREN’T MORE THAN TWENTY FEET FROM HER CAR.

    She hemmed and she hawed as she tried to figure it out.  When she did make her selection, she asked if I thought she made the right one.  Once again, I told her it was against the law for me to say.

    She didn’t, by the way.

    That she was a Republican is irrelevant.  That she failed to do any kind of research is.  Mind you, there are Democrats and other Republicans who do the same thing.  “Well, I’ve always voted D/R and my parents have always voted D/R so I’m going to vote D/R this time.  I don’t care if my candidate has the intellectual abilities of a turnip.”

I'm talking to you, Pennsylvania

    This is my firm belief:  IF YOU DO THIS, YOU ARE AN IDIOT.  For the love of God, you have a right that has not been enjoyed by people for the overwhelming part of world history.  It is imperative that you know who you are voting for.

    If you did your due diligence and think the Democrat or Republican is the best choice, I may strongly disagree with you, but I respect you.  If you don’t know what you are doing and just “pull the lever” for the party, remember…IDIOT.

    Be a numbskull and you run the risk of foisting a bumbling fool  onto your neighbors.

  

"You think he means me?"

  I am convinced that, for example, people voting for Kemp just kept on voting for Herschel Walker.  Likewise, people voting for Shapiro just kept voting for that zombie in a hoodie, Fetterman.  Maybe not, maybe so.

    That some did, I can guarantee.

    FULL DISCLOSURE:  There were more than a couple clowns on the Right up for election this time around, too.  I’m grateful that I didn’t have to choose between a carpetbagger and an Uncle Fester, though.

    If I was made king for a day, one of the things I would do is eliminate party affiliation from ballots.  This would hopefully decrease mass “voting straight down the line” and force people to actually look into your candidate.

    Incidentally, I would DRASTICALLY reduce early voting.
    

    This may be a naïve, vain hope.  But, it is a dream I have.

 ********

RELATED:  The first shots have been fired in the 2024 presidential campaign.  I foresee a return to the Republican primaries of 2016, when Donald Trump was my fourth choice for the nomination.  Many debates ensued with more than a few of my friends as I maintained that he would be a disaster.  As it turned out, I love his policies, but I never stopped thinking he was an egotistical ass.  Now, with his attack on Ron DeSantis and racist attack on my governor, I see where we’re going back to those times.  Frankly, I wish he would go away.  He is a toxin who will split the Republican Party.  The last time someone did that was Ross Perot.  And we Conservatives saw how well that turned out (also, Theodore Roosevelt in 1912. You can look that one up).

Looks like I may have to dust this off from 2016