'J' is for 'Java Man'

 In 1891 or 1892 (you’d think they’d make up their minds), a team led by Eugene Dubois, noted Dutch paleontologist, unearthed an intriguing set of hominid fossils while mucking about on the island of Java in Indonesia.

 

And lover of all things cheese

NOTE:  Where is Indonesia, you might ask?  It’s a long way away.  Hey, give me a break.  I’m a product of the American public school system.  USA! USA! USA!

 

Huh, whaddya know? 
So, nowhere near Ukraine then.

    Anyway, he culled together a fossilized tooth, skullcap, and thighbone and declared it to be a bridge between apes and humans, Anthropopithecus Erectus.  Or Pithecanthropus Erectus.

    Hey, you say 'tomaytoe,' I say 'tomahtoe.'

    What we commonly call "Java Man."

A face only a mother could love.

    

Could be worse, though.

"Wait.  We were on Java?  I just wanted some coffee.  And cheese."

    Java Man was estimated to be between 700,000 and 1,490,000 years old.  Give or take a million years.

     Or, in dog years, between 49,000,000 and 10,430,000.

 

Basically Keith Richards

NOTE:  I certainly hope Mr. Richards doesn't go on to meet his maker between now and when this post is published.  That would kind of blunt the humor effect.  Bad enough I had to toss all my Richard Simmons jokes.

Ghost of Richard Simmons does not approve.

     Professor Dubois (hmm, come to think of it...he may not have been an actual professor…hang on…let me consult Wikipedia…hey, he was…how smart am I?) theorized that Java Man wasn’t fully human but he wasn’t fully ape, either.

 

"He could have identified as a female.  Who are you to judge?  Hater."

    The man/monkey was very similar to another fossilized hominid, Peking Man.  But, we won’t go into that here.  Because I’ve already written a ‘P’ post.  And to do so might be racist.

Besides, he should more properly be called "Beijing" Man now.
Still probably racist, though.

     However, further examination of the remains by some guys have determined that Java Dude may be something completely different altogether.  Rather than a missing link, it may be a subspecies of humans.  They then changed the scientific name of the fossil to something much easier to pronounce and spell.  To say nothing of being funnier:  Homo Erectus Erectus.

"He said 'homo.'"
"And 'erectus.'"

  Java Man.  Homo or no?