'H' is for 'Hasdrubal'

 

    Hannibal Barca.  You may have heard of him.

Of the Carthage Barcas

    Well, this isn’t about him.  Did you know that he had two younger brothers, Hasdrubal and Mago?  Both were generals in their own right.

Not Magoo

     Since today’s post is ‘H,’ it probably should be obvious that we’re going to discuss Hasdrubal.  Yes, I know, ‘Hannibal’ also begins with ‘H.’  But, I already told you this wasn’t about him.  Or Mago.

"Eff.  Mom and Dad always liked those two better than me."

    Please keep up.

    Hasdrubal was born in 245 and died on June 22, 207 BC (‘BCE’ to you politically-correct ninnies).  How did he die, you might ask?  Well, not of old age, that I can tell you.  Don’t worry though, we’ll get to that.

    It was the Second Punic War (or Punic War II) between the competing powers in the Mediterranean, Carthage and the up-and-coming Rome.  Before the orgies.  Or during.  Who knows?  In any case, there were togas.  

And gladiators.

 

    Anyway, Hannibal, who became a real thorn in the side of Rome, lead his army to Hispania (Spain, for those from the American public school system) on the Iberian peninsula.  From there he planned on leading his infantry, cavalry and, yes, war elephants over the Alps and into northern Italy.

    Before he departed in 218, he left 13,000 infantry, 2,550 cavalry, and 21 elephants in Spain.

Leaving a bunch of military equipment behind.
  That sounds familiar.

    NOTE: Mago was also battling it out in Spain, but, remember, not about him.

"Son of a..."

    Actually, the plan was for Hasdrubal to use that army to reinforce Hannibal and, together, they hoped to defeat the Roman armies.

Oops.  Sorry for that Afghanistan crack.

    However, he was bogged down a little in Spain and couldn't make the crossing for ten years.  The trip was a little better for him than his big brother, though.  After all, Hannibal had left a trail of bread crumbs and a series of rest stops along the way, with plenty of clean rest rooms.

"Hopefully, there'll be plenty of spots for the elephants to poop." 

    Once he crossed the Alps, Hasdrubal sent messengers to Hannibal to let him know he was on his way and to thank him for the lovely alpine accommodations.

    Unfortunately, the messengers were captured in northern Italy when they stopped to get some Italian souvenirs.  And a pizza.  Not only would Hasdrubal not be able to reinforce Hannibal, he was faced with doing battle with two Roman Legions at the Battle of Metaurus.

"Don't worry, men.  If it looks like we're losing, I'll inspire you by charging the Romans."

    The Carthaginian Army was soundly defeated.  And Hasdrubal charged the Roman lines.  Not surprisingly, he was cut down and beheaded.

    The Romans, being Romans, put Hasdrubal’s head in a sack and sent it to Hannibal’s camp.  This was designed to let him know that Hasdrubal would not be coming, after all. 

"The fuck!!?  Gross!! 
They coulda sent a guy on an elephant and it would've done the same thing."

    Bottom line, Hannibal was left stranded in Italy and forced to somehow elude capture.  He would live to fight another day.  And would live to lose another day.

    Even though they came very close, Carthage would go on to lose to Rome in the Second Punic War.

     This would leave the door open for Punic War-Endgame in 149 BC (“BCE” to you politically-correct pinheads).

    Although this one would be fought without Hasdrubal.  And his head.