'E' is for 'Easter'

 

Spring has sprung

The grass is ris

I wonder where the birdies is?

 

That’s right, the warmer weather is slowly returning.

To the Northern Hemisphere.  I can’t speak for you lot in Australia and New Zealand.  Look on the bright side, though.  It will get warm again before you know it.  

And you don’t have Donald Trump.

  Or Joe Biden.

Anyway, the first of the Spring holidays, Easter is fast approaching.  Now, this isn’t intended to cover all the trappings of the most sacred day of the Christian faith.  Nor will I delve into what kind of freak of nature rabbit can lay eggs.

"I have therefore signed an Executive Order directing that every Easter egg will be a beautiful shade of orange and will be laid only by true, heroic, American rabbits who identify as chickens."

 

This post will be long enough as it is.

“Easter” is also known as “Pascha,” “Resurrection Sunday,” or “Feast of Our Lord.”  For devout Christians, it commemorates when their Savior rose from the dead three days after being crucified by the Romans in Jerusalem.

 If you don’t believe me, just ask Mel Gibson.

 The English word ”Easter” draws its roots from the Anglo-Saxon “Oestre” which is…ahhhh, that may be where we get the custom of Easter bunnies and peanut-butter filled chocolate eggs (because, quite frankly, I’m thinking peanut-butter filled chocolate crosses may be slightly sacrilegious).

Huh.  I stand corrected.

Easter usually takes places around the Jewish holiday Passover-a fact which I will cover when we get to the letter ‘P.’  Just be patient.  Usually around the same time, but not always.  For instance, Passover last year was a month after Easter.

 Interestingly, the Hebrew word for “Passover” is “Pesach” while the Aramaic word for “Passover” is…wait for it…”Pascha.”

Huh.  So, that’s why Jesus and his apostles didn’t get BLTs at the Last Supper.

I may have used this exact joke (and picture, by the way) in the "Passover" post.  Sue me.

When does Easter occur, you might say?  Well, we can all agree that it is a Sunday.  The specific date was determined at the Council of Nacaea in AD 325 (or “CE” for you politically-correct ninnies).  They determined that it would happen on the first Sunday after the first full moon after the vernal equinox.

NOTE:  Not going to explain what the “vernal” equinox means.  Basically, first day of Spring.

Trust me.  It has nothing to do with this Vern. 
And not just because he's dead.

 Or whenever the calendar says.

 

"Well, that's settled.  Who wants lunch?"
"Can we have BLTs?"
"Certainly.  We're all Catholics now."

Why? Well, people back then tracked things on a lunisolar basis, using the Julian calendar and the sun and the moon.

Luckily, the practice of using the entrails of an owl had fallen out of favor.

Thanks in large part to the efforts of Owls Lives Matter

 Eventually, though, Pope Gregory decided he wanted a calendar named after him because Julius Caesar had that salad.  So, the Gregorian Calendar was used.

Actually, no he didn't.

 Wouldn’t you know it, though, the Eastern Orthodox Church still used the Julian calendar.  So, their Easter wasn’t necessarily the same time as our Easter (the nuns told me we could say “our” Easter because we were the first real Catholics).

 

And our priests couldn't get laid.

Meaning Orthodox Easter was usually after “Sad Priest” Easter.  This year, though, both Easters are on the same day, April 20^th.

"What!?  No sales on Easter candy?"
"No.  But we can get laid."
"Oh.  Well, there's that. then."

That about wraps things up here.  Gotta go find me some Reese’s eggs.

"Mmmmmmmm........Reeses eggs........"

Oh, and those birds?  I’ll tell you exactly where they is.  Crapping on my windshield.