'B' is for Boudicea

Boudicea (alternative spelling: Boudica, Boudicca, Bootysellout, Wondertits) was* a queen of the ancient British Iceni tribe in, uh, Britain.  Considered a national hero of Britain, 

along with Mr. Bean

she led an ultimately unsuccessful revolt against Roman occupying forces in AD 60-61 (or, “CE,” for you politically correct ninnies).  Which was a long time ago.

The genesis of the revolt 

And here you thought that "genesis" only applied to the Bible.
"I don't know, those lions are skeeving me out.  Maybe I should put on some pants."
"Naw, don't worry.  Although that turkey really should pay attention."

was when her husband, King Prasutagus, an ally of Rome, bequeathed his lands to his two daughters and Emperor Nero (yeah, that Nero) upon his death.

Although, to be honest, being allies ain't necessarily a good thing.

Well, as these things happen, when he died the Romans completely disregarded his will.  Instead, they took his land for themselves.  Then, for good measure, they flogged Boudicea and raped the daughters.

Understandably, this really hacked her off.  Therefore, she put together a formidable army to throw the bloody Romans off the island.

Her army also included a squad of Pakistani cab drivers.

Things went pretty well at first.  Her rebels rampaged throughout the countryside, to include the burning of Camulodunum (modern-day Colchester.  Sheesh, it’s like those Romans had a different word for everything).  Flushed with success, she set her sights on Londinium (modern-day Lo-oh, you figure it out).

There she would meet the Roman governor, Gaius Suetonius Paulinus.  However, the governor, after realizing he was vastly outnumbered, ceded the future English capital to Bootylips.

"As long as there's no nailing of no breasts on no mouths, we'll go."

  Of course, since they were still pretty peeved at the Romans for that whole flogging and raping thing, the Britons set fire to the town and massacred dozens of Romans, to included impaling noble ladies and sewing their breasts to their mouths.

"Oh, son of a..."

Suetonius regrouped and, even though still vastly outnumbered, eventually defeated the Britons.  Boudicea would die, either via suicide or a far less sexy illness.

Or split ends.

Meanwhile, back in Rome Peter Ustinov Nero initially considered pulling the whole Roman kit and caboodle out of Britain.  However, following Suetonius’ victory, he said, “Well, eff it.  We may as well stay.”

"Huh.  Whaddya know.  Guess it's back to burning Christians."

The Romans would remain in England for a few hundred more years.

Boudicca, on the other hand, got a statue.  

And a song by Enya.

*I would think use of the term  “was” should be obvious, considering she lived 2,000 years ago.  Nobody lives that long.  Except, perhaps, Keith Richards.