I'm So Confused

     Yesterday, while working a shift as a Monetary Exchange Specialist,* a customer stepped up to purchase some sandpaper, caulk**, and wood putty.

    What he bought isn't important.  In fact, I could have left that part out entirely.  But, that's not how I roll.  I included it because I was able to make a terrible joke about it***.

    Anyway, what's germane about this entire post is what the customer looked like.

Wrong Germane.
NOTE: I know it's spelled "Jermaine."

    He was an older gentleman with a long, graying ponytail.  Look, I'm not a big fan of long hair, earrings, and various piercings for baby boomers.  The way I look at it, by the time you reach

Yes...sigh...my age.

your 60s, you should cut back a little on the youthful hijinks and look/act your age.

Some, of course, refuse to get the message.
Good grief, just make a batch of oatmeal-raisin cookies already, Grandma!

    But, hey, you do you.  If you want to suffer snickers from Gen X, Gen Y, Millennials, or whoever's next, knock yourself out. 

Wrong Snickers.
Incidentally, if you threw one of these at me, there'd be no suffering.

    What got me, though, was something seemed a little off about this person.  He was wearing cat-eye glasses, his ponytail was gathered together in the center of his head in a pastel-colored scrunchy, he wore crocs the color of sherbert, and sported lavender yoga pants.  His voice was pretty low, as low as mine.  

    And I'm a manly man.

Clearly.

    Since I thought I may have been dealing with a transgender, I remained as neutral in my speech as possible and was genuinely friendly to him.  

    Hey, as long as you don't mess around with kids, whatever you do is whatever you do.  I don't care.  I may think you're mentally-ill and wonder to whom you're attempting to appeal.

    But, once again, you do you.  I'll keep that to myself.

    One of the services we offer at my store, besides sell "Chuckles,"

"Mmmmm....Chuckles.   Multi-flavored sugar gelatinous goo coming in cherry, lime, pineapple, licorice, and Trump flavors....mmmmmm."

 is cutting keys.  When he/she/they asked to have a couple keys made, my coworker cheerfully called over and said, "I can take care of you here, sir."

Too late to stop him.

    Surprisingly, he/she/they gave no indication that he/she/they was offended.  In fact, as he/she/they turned to leave, I saw that, on the front of his/her/their hoodie was a design of a couple thumbs pointed at, "World's Greatest Grandpa."

 

   And that is why I was so confused.  Maybe he/she/they was really just an old dude with questionable fashion taste.

Once again, my age.

    Or, maybe it was an old hoodie.

    I think I'll just go eat some Chuckles. 

*sounds so much classier than "cashier."  Hey, don't laugh.  I was once an Italian Food Transportation Representative.  For Dominos.

**White caulk.  The brown caulk is twice the size for the same price.

***You looked, didn't you?

New Year's Resolution

 Rather than resolving to lose weight (PFFFT!  I'm 66.  Screw a whole bunch of that.  Plus, I'm still working on my Christmas candy), my New Year Resolution on January 1, 2025 is to still be around on January 1, 2026 (hopefully, with more Christmas candy).

Wish me luck.