Since I'm preparing the 2026 A-Z Challenge, I don't have a lot of extra time to write anything new for Penwasser Place. So, I figured you wouldn't mind an oldie but a moldie goodie. Therefore, may I present my 'U' entry from the 2011 A-Z Challenge?
NOTE: If inclined to go back and search for the original post (although I can't imagine why anyone would), you won't find it. In a fit of pique and mental illness, I deleted my entire blog in 2018, a very bad year for me (yes, it involved a woman). Luckily (or not), I kept a copy of the original writing.
The Underwear Wars
to the epic battles
of underwear.
Began first with briefs, tighty-whiteys,
that were worn by men both weak and mighty.
Frankly, I'm disturbed that I kept this photo all these years.
I've always thought the dude in the front looked like Christian Bale.
But it was good to see that Gary Coleman was able to find work before he died.
But, soon, a young woman began to fret
and wonder why she wasn’t
pregnant yet.
For, you see, the problem lay in the fit
of briefs which pulled the sack near where he’d sit.
Thus cooked, the sperm had no place to
hide.
Victims of body
temperature, boiled and died.
No happy eggs, no mother-to-be
Just a man and his
wife and their color TV
(NOTE: Hey, it rhymed. Sue me.)
she bought him some
boxers, just like gym shorts.
She told him their loose, casual fit
will keep his “boys”
far from where he sits.
With them cooled, his swimmers will be able
to find a place at
the “Mommy Table.”
But, he moaned and whined, “I hate the big
hole.
 |
| The struggle is real. Especially for the gifted. |
 |
| Meaning, I'm good. |
It’s a big inconvenient ‘Whack-A-Mole’.”
So, to shut up her husband and give her relief
She then thought to
buy him some boxer briefs.
Not quite as snug as the white linen sacks
they gave him the
comfort that boxers lacked.
 |
| Actually, my preference, if you're curious. Why would you be curious? What's wrong with you? Incidentally, not me. |
the wife hustled
home, only to find.
Her man, at the doorway, happily bare
No shirt, no pants, no underwear.
“Honey,” he said, “I’ve got a great plan
That I’m hoping, I pray that you’ll understand.
“For, just like Kramer or Marlon Brando*,
No undies for
me. I’m going commando.”
One more post before the challenge!
Oh yes, I remember when you went dark. I don't know why you didn't just abandon your blog the way so many others have done before you. I imagine that's how I'll go out one of these days. I'll just stop.
ReplyDeleteIn retrospect, IF it happens again, that's what I'll do. Like I said, though, it was in a fit of pique (aka "Eff It"). Even though 2018 was a very bad year, I regret doing it.
DeleteThis is Birgit…Ouch! That was drastic….i could see my hubby do this and has done but to the actual computer…he took out the hard drive and “dismantled” the computer. We only have my IPad and my phone now.
ReplyDeleteOh gosh….did you have undies with a Built in fan like Niles had in Frazier? I’m not sure if I would fall into a coma if my hubby opened the door naked as jaybird.
It WAS bad, for sure. I really tottered on a ner4vous collapse. But, I've since come back. To where I stand now. I'm not sure that's a good thing.
DeleteI despise boxer briefs. Once a long time ago, Mom bought me some by mistake. I cut the legs off.
ReplyDeleteBoxer briefs are my "go-to." Boxers? Oh, foul demons!
Delete