"R" is For "Robespierre"

 

"R" is For "Robespierre"

    Maximilien Francois Marie Isidore de Robespierre (holy crap! Imagine that birthday cake) was born on May 6, 1758 as a baby and died a little shorter on July 28, 1794, when he ticked off the wrong people.

    NOTE:  We’ll get to that.

"Five names, though.  How do you like them apples, bitches?"

    Robespierre was a French lawyer, statesman, and one of the most influential figures of the French Revolution, an internal spasm which began in 1789 and would last until 1799.

    Quite a few of the beliefs he held sound pretty reasonable to me:  he believed in voting rights of all men (sorry, ladies, I would have argued for you) and their unimpeded admission to the National Guard.

Or crossing guard

    Further, he advocated for the right to petition, the right to bear arms in self-defense, the abolition of the Atlantic Slave Trade, and that a nice dinner wine be served at every meal.  Well, he was French, you know.

His advocacy for the right to arm bears was deemed dangerous. 
And silly.

    A radical Jacobin, he was elected Deputy to the National Convention in September, 1793.  The following year, he was appointed member of the Committee of Public Safety.

    While there, he argued for measures which collectively became known as the Reign of Terror.

    We pause for a brief moment to discuss what the Reign of Terror was:  shortly after formation of the First Republic (there would be more, mainly because they couldn’t make up their minds), a series of massacres and public executions.  This was in responsive to Federalist revolts, anticlerical sentiments, 

"Anticlerical.  Does that mean what I think it d...uh,oh."

and accusations of treason by the Committee of Public Safety.

Believe it or not, this method of execution was considered merciful. 
If gruesome.

    It lasted from September 5, 1793 until July 27, 1794.

    HINT:  We’ll see that date again.

    As Robespierre guided the terror effort, some of the others on the Committee of Public Safety began to get nervous.  They started to wonder if they would be next to fall under the blade of Robespierre’s guillotine.  I mean, if nothing else, what would they do with their hats?

    So, following a speech on the 26^th of July, Robespierre was arrested on 9 Thermidor (must have been one sucky speech).  The following day, he along with 90 others, was executed without trial.

"It's like those French have a different word for everything!"

    The following day he, along with 90 others (who, apparently drew the short straw), was executed without a trial.

"Shave and a haircut, two bits.  What?  Not funny? 
No wonder we're cutting your head off, Monsieur No Sense of Humor."

    Even though the Reign of Terror was over (see? I told you you'd see that date again), troubles for France wouldn’t be over for quite some time.  In addition to Napoleon,

Starring Joaquin Phoenix

 they had to perfect the art of surrender.

And watch Jerry Lewis movies